How to engage in nonviolent action.
We are just THREE days out now and the excitement we are all feeling among our organizers is palpable. What is also true is that we are feeling some apprehension, uncertainty or even fear…especially when it comes to how to engage with groups there to counter protest. We are certain that the same is true for you.
myisha t. hill, one our leaders as well as the founder of Check Your Privilege, has been leading a series of free practices in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and nonviolent action (NVA), which are the bedrock of how we are asking all of us to show up and participate in the sit-in.
She asked that we let the leaders of the civil rights movement of the 1960s be our guide, calling to mind the black and white images of protestors who refused to resist even when being sprayed down water hoses. Even though we don’t anticipate this happening to us in Denver, we are putting our bodies on the line and our nervous systems will be on high alert. Understanding the basics of NVC is essential.
For those not familiar, NVC was developed by Marshall Rosenberg as a communication tool that focuses on first creating empathy in the conversation. Once there is empathy between the parties in the conversation, it will be much easier to talk about a solution.
In her NVC Basic Concepts Crash Course, myisha explained the three primary ways to use NVC: create self-empathy, acknowledge another person and express yourself. Most importantly, we must begin with self-empathy, which we have not been socialized to do.
In order to engage in any of those, the four-step OFNR process is necessary where the OFNR stands for Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests.
Observations: Notice what you are seeing, feeling and hearing as facts without judging them or assigning meaning. Notice whether you feel safe expressing yourself. In order to make accurate observations, we are required to be fully present in the moment.
Feelings: Notice your emotions as sensations in your body rather than a story that you are making up about them in your head. Again, being present and grounded in your body is essential. The Center for Nonviolent Communication has created feelings inventory to help us in identifying them.
Needs: Notice whether your need is rooted in a core value or a strategy that you’re addicted to in order to get your needs met. As humans, we all share certain primary needs: sustenance, safety, love, understanding/empathy, creativity, recreation, sense of belonging, autonomy and meaning. The Center for Nonviolent Communication has created a needs inventory.
Requests: Notice whether you are making a request or a demand. The difference is in whether you are open to hearing “no” without then forcing “yes.” If you get a “no,” you don’t give up but instead try to empathize with what is keeping them from saying “yes.”
We are asking that you root yourself in these concepts and remember that fundamental to NVC is putting empathy before education. When dealing with counter protestors, we have to let go of trying to win or change their mind.
You have to be grounded in your body in order to respond with empathy. If you are unable, then try to respond out of curiosity. If you are unable to respond with empathy or curiosity, then then be quiet and focus on self-empathy until you are resourced enough to re-engage.
If you are unable to respond with empathy or curiosity, then then be quiet and focus on self-empathy until you are resourced enough to re-engage. This refusing to engage and escalate the interaction is when we shift to Nonviolent Direct Action.
Even though we are still, we are still active in our bodies but find power in the pause by acknowledging and accepting our own thoughts and feelings so that we can then respond out of our own integrity.
All of myisha’s guided practices are available in our online community, Mighty Networks. If you haven’t already, please get yourself signed up there today! In addition to these practices, this will be the communication hub for events during the sit-in. In addition to Myisha’s training, we have to acknowledge Wikipedia as a reference as well as Key Facts from the Center for Nonviolent Communication.
With love and empathy from all of us – Here 4 The Kids.
